October 4, 2006

• MANY SCATTERED THOUGHTS-JUMBLED TOGETHER!!!

  THE AIR IS CRISP, THE DAY IS DONE AND NOW MY MIND CAN REST

  
  

  THE FIRST MORNING MEDIATION THAT I HAD TODAY WAS ABOUT PEACE.  INNER PEACE I

  
  

  HAVE GAINED AND STRUGGLED FOR, NO LESS NO MORE THAN OTHERS.  I HAVE IT…IT IS

  
  

  MINE AND WELL EARNED.  I AM LEARNING EVERY DAY AND MY THIRST FOR KNOWLEDGE

  
  

  IS A BLESSING.  MEDIATION FOR ME IS A LESSON IN LIFE.  I HAVE JOINED A BOOK CLUB &

  
  

  AM LEARNING THE TEXT AND TRANSLATION OF “THE BHAGAVAD GITA” BY ANNIE BESANT. 

  
  

  IT IS BASED ON THE BASIC PRINICIPLES OF YOGA.  THE NINE STEPS.  I FIND IT AN

  
  

  INTERESTING VENTURE. I MEDITATED THE OTHER DAY ON MY INNER CHILD.  SHE

  
  

  NEEDED TO COME OUT.  SO I ALLOWED MYSELF TO WRITE.  I AM NOT SURE THAT I AM

  
  

  HAPPY THAT I DID.  IT  BROUGHT TO ME SELF-PITY AND I AM SYMPATHETIC YES, BUT

  
  

  HAVE EXPERIENCED THIS BEFORE AND AM READY TO MOVE BEYOND THIS POINT IN

  
  

  MY LIFE.  IT IS THEN, NOT NOW.  SHE IS AT PEACE WITHIN ME.  I HAVE HEALED HER BY

  
  

  GOD’S ALLOWING ME TO RAISE A CHILD, A DAUGHTER.  I HAVE GIVEN HER THE LOVE THAT

  
  

  I NEEDED AND IN RETURN HAVE FELT HER LOVE AND TRUST.  THAT HEALED MUCH OF MY

  
  

  INNER CHILD.  THE ABILITY TO INHALE GOD’S LOVE AND SEE IT IN THE TREES AND SUNSETS

  
  

  AND MOUNTAINS AND OCEANS AROUND ME AND LET MYSELF GO UNTIL I FIND A PICTURE

  
  

  OR A WORD OR A FEELING IS TO ME ONE OF THE MOST EXCITING EXPERIENCES I HAVE

  
  

  EVER HAD.  THIS EVENING I MEDITATE & I HEARD THE WORD SELF. SO DOES THIS MEAN MY

  
  

  SELF IN MY SELF OR MY SELF IN OTHERS? THAT YOU

  
  

  SPOT IT YOU GOT IT THING AGAIN. I HAVE ALL DAY BEEN TRYING TO EXPERIENCE SELF

  
  

  WITHIN OTHERS AND NOT KNEW WHY. THEN I HEAR THE WORD SELF. AND KNOW THAT I

  
  

  WANT TO SEE WHAT IT IS ABOUT US THAT CONNECTS US ALL…THIS IS A LESSON THAT

  
  

  WILL GO ON NO DOUBT. I SEE IN THOSE I DISLIKE PARTS OF ME AND THOSE THAT I LIKE 

  
  

  PARTS OF ME TOO. I DID A HEALING ON MYSELF TO PREPARE MYSELF FOR MY UPCOMING

  
  

  SIX MONTH CANCER TESTS AND AM AWAITING THEM TO BE DONE AND OVER.  NEXT FEW

  
  

  WEEKS WILL BE A WAITING GAME. I’VE BEEN THERE BEFORE AND KNOW HOW THAT RIDES.

  
  

  THIS WEEKEND I GET THE OPPORTUNITY TO GO BACK IN TIME. WE ARE GOING TO A

  
  

  REUNION OF SORTS FOR AN OLD “CAMPING GROUP” AND THERE WILL BE CLOSE TO FIFTY

  
  

  OR MORE PEOPLE THAT WERE PART OF THE GROUP OVER A FIFTEEN YEAR PERIOD SOME

  
  

  THIRTY YEARS AGO.  I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.  I WISH I WAS THINNER BUT NOT

  
  

  ENOUGH TO HAVE STOPPED EATING I GUESS.  ONE OF THEM IS AN OLD LOVER OF MINE.

  
  

  IT SHOULD BE A NASTALGIC DAY.  MANY PEOPLE.  MANY JOURNEYS TO SHARE AND

  
  

  SMILES THAT WILL BE FAMILIAR BEHIND TIME ENGRAVED FACES.  I AM FACING A FEAR

  
  

  IN MY REIKI OF NOT BEING ABLE TO MOVE FORWARD WITH IT AND MAKE IT A PART

  
  

  OF MY TRADE.  I EXPERIENCE IT DAILY AND LOVE IT.  BUT WILL I BE TRUSTED ENOUGH TO

  
  

  MAKE A LIVING AT IT?  I HOPE SO.  I STILL WANT TO LEARN LIGHTARIAN AND USI.  I HAVE

  
  

  LEARNED TIBETAN AND CONTINUE MY JOURNEY.  I ALSO WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT

  
  

  ANIMAL TOTEMS.  THIS PAST MONTH MY NEPHEW OF 28 PUT HIMSELF IN A FACILITY TO

  
  

  RELEASE AND DETOXIFY FROM COCAINE AND ALCOHOL.  HE IS HOME.  I HAD GIVEN

  
  

  HIM A BOOK ABOUT HEALING ADDICITONS THROUGH THE PRACTICE OF YOGA.  HE IS

  
  

  A PERSONAL TRAINER/PHYSICAL THERAPIST/YOGA INSTRUCTOR.  HE IS HOME AND I SPOKE

  
  

  TO HIM AND HIS VOICE SOUNDED STRONG.  GOD WILLING AND HIM WILLING HE WILL

  
  

  BE FINE.  AT THE SAME TIME, MAYBE A WEEK IN A HALF PRIOR TO THIS MY BROTHER

  
  

  IN LAW PUT HIMSELF IN A FACILITY TO RELEASE AND DETOXIFY FROM COCAINE,

  
  

  ALCOHOL AND HEROINE.  HE IS HOME TOO BUT FEELING SO ILL.  HEROINE IS A HARD

  
  

  ONE AND HE ISN’T INTO YOGA.  HE SAYS HE IS TRYING TO MEDITATE SO SHINING SILK

  
  

  BURNED MANY INSTRUCTED MEDITATIONS FOR HIM AND I ORDERED HIM A BURNING

  
  

  CANDLE MADE BY A SHAMAN AND GAVE HIM A BOOK ON THE POWER OF POSITIVE

  
  

  THOUGHT AND A JOURNAL.  I SPEAK TO HIM A LOT AND HE IS DEPRESSED.  I PRAY FOR HIM

  
  

  GOD WILLING AND HIM WILLING THAT HE WILL SHINE ABOVE THIS. MY MOM IS HOLDING

  
  

  HER OWN WITH THE PARKINSONS AND IT IS A CHORE TO TAKE CARE OF HER.  IF IT WASN’T

  
  

  FOR SILKY I WOULDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.  SHE IS MY ANGEL THAT HAS BEEN SENT

  
  

  TO BE MY FRIEND AND HELP ME THROUGH THIS.  I SPOKE TO DAD TODAY.  HE WAS DRUNK

  
  

  AND KEPT TELLING ME HE LOVED ME.  POOR DEAR, I WISH HE LOVED HIMSELF.  ME, I AM

  
  

  OKAY. JUST WISH I HAD SOME ROMANCE IN MY LIFE.   I THINK THAT I WOULD LIKE TO

  
  

  BE DINED AND MAYBE GIVEN FLOWERS.  FLOWERS WOULD BE NICE, DAISIES MAYBE. 

  
  

  UNTIL THEN, I CONTINUE MY JOURNEY ALONE.  MANY HUGGS MY DEAR XANGA LAND

  
  

  FRIENDS.  I WILL TRY AND BE MORE DILIGENT ABOUT WRITING AND MORE POLITE

  
  

  ABOUT VISITING. SASSY

  
  

   

  
  

   

  • 11:07 pm
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