October 17, 2006
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My life seems so full today. My daughter was a bit rude this morning and I pointed it out to her, while she didn’t apologize, she did have a change of heart and was pleasant throughout the day and this evening she even kissed me goodnight. I am so proud of her as is every parent of their children I am sure. This weekend at the karate show, Tere’ wasn’t there, she quit for a while. The owner of the company was having her work over 40 hours a week and she was only 16. She left it completely and is earning her letter thorugh the highschool gymnastics team. She intends to go back to karate within another month, she misses it, but not as an instructor, just as a student working toward her fourth degree black belt. Anyway, at the show a woman that worked with her told me I should be proud for doing such a good job with her. I was happy she said that but knew in my heart that I had such a wonderful person to work with, that when God giave her to me to raise, it was a joy. She is a good kid. Tonight I had a late dinner with my sister of the heart and my nephew and it was so nice. I seem to have been taking things with a pound of salt and letting things upset me lately. James pointed out that he doesn’t do pity and it was a wake up call…I didn’t want pity…but then I reread and while I stated I didn’t want it, after reading my latest blogs they longed for it…so with my self love lessons I had to learn to nurture my inner child and for a bit of time with no regrets pity her…I did and then I brought her to the edge of the nest and let her fly…nothing to be ashamed of…just a stage I had to go through in order to go forward. I realized that I am so used to licking my wounds that even though I don’t want to it was sort of a conditioned response. Sort of like I was so used to having the same response to those things around me I only reacted in a way that I consciously didn’t want to…So I consciously must change my reacitons to myself…step away…my meditiation showed me how to step away…to observe the she in me…to see…what is it I do when I am in a situation that isn’t exactly what I thought it would be…after that I will learn to react differently to that…but for now I am observing…that little girl…I don’t dislike her…I understand that she didn’t get the love she so much needed then so she reacts that way…but the adult me gave my daughter the love to heal myself…so I must learn to step forward and see that if I continue to react as I did throughout time, I will never be able to go forward with this journey. To enjoy my gifts…and I want to do that…meditaition for me is like a jolt and when it is over…the words/pictures/smells/thoughts I get I write down and then I think on them long and relish them and learn from them…the Yogis in the Bhagad-Gita were pure in their thoughts of Karma/Soul/Life on this Earth and which life on this earth…for me…it is still like a good novel that I don’t want to put down. So I will live no pity…no regrets…thanx James…sometimes words are like a friend pointing you in the direciton of a mirror and forcing you to look…I needed that…my hair was a muss…lol….my Reiki instructor wants me to jounal my dreams…I have been sleeping so soundly I don’t really remember much of them at all…so…tonight…yawn…I will sleep and hopefully dream…huggs to Xanga…Sassy
Comments (5)
It sounds like you are doing some wonderful things, Sassy. (And, yes, you should be proud…Parenting really is hard work, even with the “easy” ones.)
Since you are trying to be pro-active instead of re-active in situations, it’s a good idea to actually think about the situations themselves where you’ve reacted. Write them down, write down what how you reacted AND write down how you intend to act next time you’re confronted with something the same or even just similar. Having a plan puts the power back into your hands. Remember at all times that you do have a choice…and no one can make you act or react anyway that YOU don’t choose.
It’s kinda funny the first time you’re in a situation that you’ve been in a million times, and you don’t react the way you always did. You can get the most amusing looks on people’s faces. hahaha! Just keep telling yourself that no one says you have to react right away. There’s no rule that you can’t take a second to decide how you want things to go.
I love you…GFW
ryc: The only sugar substitute I use is Splenda, and I know not enough research is available to understand it’s long-term use, but I don’t really use that much of it…maybe 2 packs a day, at the most. (I use it to sweeten tea). I know I can and should use Stevia (and I’ll try to remember to get some). I’ve never used saccharin, and I was so happy to have an alternative to aspartame since it leaves a bitter aftertaste in my mouth. What do you use as a sugar alternative? I won’t do honey because of the carbs, so…
Thanks, Sassy…I love you…GFW
hi sassy… gawd i don’t know why i haven’t been to your site in ages! i am sorry about that…. now i have a lot of catching up reading to do on you …… the work we do on ourselves is a journey…. and it is those experiences that learn to unlearn those auto responses…. happy journey… it is fun discovering who we are!
It’s a long road. But, it’s worth the trip.
Just stopping by to say hello
Bright Beautiful Blessings Chel