Tae passed over today.  Again, at 2am he was here, ill but here.  At 6am he was gone.  He seemed to be a bit better over the weekend then he took a turn for the worst.  He couldn’t “go” just like Kwon.  His pneumonia seemed better, the antibiotics helped the breathing.  He refused food.  He seemed so hungry but wouldn’t eat.  The critical care was hurting his belly because he couldn’t “go”.  He ate Sunday.  I didn’t feed him Monday.  Silky kept trying to get him to drink water.  We settled for his lips being wet.  We held him for hours.  He laid in my bed.  He slept on his Dad (my husband’s) chest for three hours under  a blanket.  I held him again, covered him and at 2am went to sleep.  I dreamt he first turned to an orange and black fish then a very weak little mouse instead of a guinea pig.  He passed this huge bowel that was black and gray and it unfolded into a mini alligator.  I think that after all the Reiki I did, I saw him evolve.  He fought the alligator and it died and then he was biting it and I pulled him away from it.  He scratched my right hand and it bled a bit and he evolved into himself a smaller version and grew normal then floated away in a cloud of white and happy.  I knew in my dream he fought the demon of pain and released himself into the light.  His Spirit soared.  I miss him so much, he was like a puppy, he would run over to the door of the cage and give kisses upon request (all 7 did/do only 4 left) and he would sit and let you scratch his nose.  He loved snow peas and carrots…I will see you again my Tae, play with Neo and Kwon and stay healthy.  I love you my little one…Mommy  

Now Tae is sick…he has pneumonia…they suggested keeping him at the hospital…I can’t afford that…he is home in a separate cage…on antibiotics and I will bring him in the shower so he breaths in the steam, poor baby…he has a 50/50 chance and I will give it my all…I am sad, anxious, tired and broke…I hope that Do, BettyBoop, Gracie and Alfie will not catch it too…I will NEVER own another pet…Taku has that heart condition…Nacho is getting old…the turtles have opted for a divorce making my gorgeous 90gallon tank look like an obtrusive thing now with the separator…so sad…it isn’t Patti, it is Peppermint…and then there is mom…what did I do to me..lol…up every morning at dawn…meds for Taku, clean Nacho’s infected ears…mom needs her meds and blood pressure and monitor her for first several hours she fainted yesterday…but seems okay today…then the screaming little dears…feedme, feedme…my piggies…then Kwon was so sick and now Tae is too…separating…force feeding…meds…OH and then there is work, and don’t forget…my house which is begging for a cleaning and my daughter…BRIGHT SIDE: She turned 18 and is the love of my life…my morning sunshine…all will be well…this too will pass…I will do Reiki on Tae…huggs everyone…Sassy

In Memory of Kwon

February 15, 2005 – August 19, 2007

Kwan was the second born of the second litter of Guinea Pigs.  He was docile, adorable, never bit anyone as long as he breathed on this earth and loved spinach.  While his brothers, Tae and Do were at that “fighting age” you could always find Kwan up on the top level of their piggie condo ”foraging for food”.  He was a bit on the chubby side.  He became ill last week. After a few days I brought him to the vet.  Our vet couldn’t help him he said he needed an exotic specialist.  I called one for an appointment.  He would be away for two more weeks.  I called another, she would be away until this coming Tuesday. August is the “away” month…I called up north and drove him the hour long ride with Silky holding him and the exotic vet examined him and told us that it might be his back teeth (I didn’t know he had them) but he would have to be sedated and she was pregnant so couldn’t be by anethesia and the “other” exotic vet was away until two more weeks.  They gave me critical care diet, tried to take blood to see if it was an infection but he was so dehydrated.  They gave him a shot to rehydrate him and I took him home. The next day I made an appointment with the specialist the first day of her return, Tuesday. He lapped up the critical care diet and looked a bit better.  Silky and I did Reiki all the time and last night he looked awful…I confirmed within myself it wasn’t his teeth and he would never make an operation.  He was so impacted and weak.  He couldn’t “go”.  During Reiki I opened the door for him.  I did a prayer and told him to get well if you could because we love him…if he couldn’t he should let go and don’t be scared…there will be a mommy there for him too and his grandpa Neo…and we loved him…at 2am he was okay…at 6am he had already passed over.  I sobbed for the loss of holding his furry little body and hearing his sounds and that cute little face.  I am at peace that his pain is stopped and his journey across is forward…I will see you again Kwon…I love you…Mommy

All work and no play makes a miserable me…hot and no time to swim, can’t keep up with the housework…tired…overwhelmed…stop and smell the roses, what roses, forgot to water them and they fried poor babies…I need two sets of legs, five sets of arms and two heads…mom is doing very well on her new meds…yet with her disease it is only time I know…I’m thankful she is having good time now and will be peaceful with that…Tere’ started a summer course at the college and is enjoying it…I don’t’ want to speak of the overwhelming fear of payment and the forms for student loans and the red tape involved…”You can get anything you want at Alice’s Restaurant…excepting Alice”…lol…some will understand that song…songs have being flying through my head at constant speed lately…I wake up to them…at 4am “Mama…I just killed a man”…what does that mean…or “DreamWeaver…”…at 5:45am…maybe the Angels are telling me something but at that time, ‘scuse please way too tired to understand…my job sucks…I want to sit and do the powerpoint and set up the information for my seminar on Reiki so I can start going forward with that…need to make the time…got to clean the pig cages (guinea) today and do the laundry…mom’s hungry…miss everyone talk with you soon…huggs Sassy…

So much to say…I meditated and it came to me that though I don’t always agree with, want the same things as, or even like the response…if I want to enjoy having others in my life I must learn to accept, respect and just let it “be”.  Who knows, I just might learn something…that two ears and one mouth thing…lol…That makes sense and plays along with the “kind, distant and courteous”…attempt I have been making…I went to a family picnic and watched my dad light fires under everyone’s ass by engaging in gossip sessions and repeating words only that “sparked”…he had a ball…others were charred to say the least.  Watched my sister and her newly separated husband ignore and watch each other…interesting…they were having a picnic for my nephew and his new bride.  They married in Hawaii and not all of us could attend so they had this nice picnic.  I never realized it was a feeding ground.  Some as an excuse to intoxicate themselves in liquor to escape the world they created.  Others with the “stink eye” examining and looking for anything they didn’t like about someone, anyone.  entertaining afternoon.  I think I have food poisoning…my daughter graduates Thurday night from high school…She had her prom and looked so pretty and had a great time…huggs…Sassy

Hey, I took this test and I am a Chevrolet Corvette and look it is my favorite color red…in reality I actually drive a PURPLE PT Cruiser…with my Reiki sign magnets stuck to the doors…Tere’ calls it the hippie wagon…lol…

You’re a classic – powerful, athletic, and competitive.  You’re all about winning the race and getting the job done.  While you have a practical everyday side, you get wild when anyone pushes your pedal.  You hate to lose, but you hardly ever do.

what car are you?  http://www.tomorrowland.us/sportscar/

My mom suffered a Grande Mall seizure the other day.  You know, I always thought I could handle a crises, well, here is to say factually, I can’t.  I walked down the hall and she was in the chair and her head was on the dresser and I thought she fainted again.  Mom has Parkinson Disease which led to Shy Dragger.  Her blood pressure drops and she faints.  I take her blood pressure to raise it several times a day.  Well, she was not in a faint, her tongue was out and her jaw was clamped and her eyes were like dead stone with pin hole pupils and she was making this awful snore noise that then stopped and thank God, Shining Silk was there.  I don’t know how long she was out but it took over two minutes for her to revive…during that time I shook cried held her, tapped her face and screamed MOMMY…I thought she was dead.  Silky said she had a pulse…I wasn’t there…it was like a cloud of fear surrounded my being…MOMMY DON’T DIE was the only thought in my head and I was terrified…she came out of it okay and the neurologist states it is due to the diseases.  Her blood pressure drops so low it causes seizures.  She is now on seizure medicine and it is still fresh so we check on her constantly like a pot on the stove boiling water.  I was so happy she didn’t leave yet.  Not the death itself that I fear.  Just the fear of her fear of it and me loosing my mom…I love her…very much.  Two days later…feisty nut that she is…there she was crawling around the floor picking…she does this, crazy shit I don’t understand but doc says it is VERY common with the disease…so I am at work and Silky is walking in the back door to check her…we are afraid to leave her too long…well she has this broom all messed up from leaning on it and the back door is open and the mallards (henry and henrietta and frank) that visit my pool every spring for a bit are trying to get in the kitchen and Nacho the dog threw up…God knows what she fed him and Taku who is on diuretics for a heart disease and I confine to the non carpeted area is in the carpeted den sound asleep.  Silky calls me at work…unlike me who freaks when she does these things laugh my butt off…when I hung up I went to the ladies room and cried…I am happy she is doing okay…I love her…huggs  Sassy 

In the Yoga you must first observe…so I did…not liking what I see…judgmental righteous anger and the feeling of hopelessness every time a situation is not what I expect…someone’s choices are not what I think they should be…I observe…okay I come to terms over the last year with these feelings…I let myself feel them and I accept the anger without feeling guilty about feeling guilty (hard challenge here)…then I realize that I am a frightened child and can nurture myself…I don’t need to want to change the choices others make…I want to need to make myself happy…so I start to…I make some ultimatums…for me…I am setting a date to speak of my Reiki…hopefully this will help me to help others and in the interim start my business up…I need to want to do this…for me…for others…for my future…In the Yoga…for me we are all….in the Yoga…huggs…Sassy