January 10, 2009

• Learning What It Really Means…

  I am referring to “Practice What You Preach”…so my daughter has a boyfriend.  She has dated in the past but this one seems a bit more serious, actually lasted a month now and he is a very nice person.  Putting himself through school.  Respectful to his parents.  Same age as Tere’.  Hard working at his job.  Kind and very nice to my daughter.  I don’t say much.  Usually at this age if she finds we like him she’ll not and I want her to like or not like him based on herself.  Me, I like him.  From what I see so far, and I don’t really get too involved at her age, only if she comes to me.  But he seems to be a very well rounded sweet young man and he makes her laugh and smile and at 19 laughing and smiling is what you should be doing as far as I’m concerned. Anyway, it was their “one month dating” and she apparently was “himming and hawing” in her head as to whether or not to get him something (she tells me the next day) she wanted to get him a rose but thought he’d think she was weird so she didn’t.  Well, they go ice skating and he brings her two roses as a gift to celebrate they have been dating for a month and now she riddles herself with “guilt” because she didn’t get him anything…wonder where she learned that practice.  The next day she tells me about the roses and what she had wanted to do and what she didn’t do and blahblahblah.  I listen and tell her what she did wrong was three things.  First she didn’t do what she wanted to do for fear he wouldn’t like her.  Everyone she has a relationship with must know who she really is and it doesn’t matter if they like or dislike her, she is who she is and they most likely will like her anyway in the long run you have to like yourself and if your not yourself that isn’t good, always be who you are.  Second, you were not honest with you.  Always be honest with yourself and in any relationship you have whether it be work, friendship, a lover, a partner, whatever.  Third, you were given a gift to smile and be happy about and you went under the tree of happiness looked up at the fruit and   one said WOW this is wonderful to be treated nice, one said He is so sweet and I am happy to be dating him, another said I am happy because he wants me to have it and likes me and I am a good person. Then there was a rotted ugly piece that said, gee I feel awful, I shoulda/coulda/woulda and that is the fruit you took.  She laughed.  I said, now you do what you want to do, but if it was me I would text him (that typing for people with xray vision on telephones that I can not master) and I would tell him that you love the roses and funny thing is…and tell him you wanted to get one for him too and didn’t and felt badly and all your thoughts on it.  Clear the air for yourself or it will cause a balloon in your belly.  She did and he wrote back that she didn’t have to give him anything and that he just wanted to make her happy and she smiled and..the end…so…my lesson, I pick a lot of bad fruit for myself every time I have a choice and that isn’t a good thing for me.  I like nice fruit too.  I am going picking…huggs…love Sassy

  

  • 10:34 pm
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