Hi…my name is BettyBoop and I am a guinea pig.  I live with all my children…all five of my children…in a wonderful home…and this is my story…I was born in August, 2004 and sent to a pet store to be sold.  I was in the corner one day.  No one paid much attention to me.  See I have this wild hair that grows in a natural tomahawk…I know that young teens today like that style.  But on a guinea pig it looks rather odd.  So, I thought I was doomed to a lonely life in this cage. One day a lady came in with her daughter.  She came over to the cage and looked lovingly at the white guinea pig with the pink eyes and the gray guinea pig with the gold eyes.  She opened the door, pet them and smiled.  She looked over at me and slowly picked me up.  I looked up into her eyes and it was love at first site. She then handed me to her daughter and she smiled sweetly too.  Before I knew it I was in a cardboard box in a moving machine and put into a cage with this very handsome fellow guinea pig.  He said his name was Neo…and I knew by looking at him that he was the one.  We fell in love and life was grand.  The lady and her daughter doted on us.  There is this man there too sometimes and he holds us and talks softly to us.  After several months I started to notice my waist increasing and was so self-conscious.  Neo told me I was still beautiful to him.  On October 24 I gave birth to my first two children.  Gracie and Alfie.  They were so gorgeous and the big people that care for us sat on the floor next to our cage and watched quietly.  After it was done they cleaned me up and fed me and I slept for a long time.  The four of us lived in perfect harmony.  For some reason Neo was taken away and I heard the word “fixed”.  I didn’t know what that meant but when he returned all was the same. They grew older, as children always do, and in the world of guinea pigs there are no laws against “incest” so…I once again became pregnant by my son Alfie…he was immediately taken away and the word “fixed” was used and when he returned all was well again…I became very large and on February 13, 2005 I gave birth to three more children.  The big people were getting a bit flustered.  I heard something about separating us and ran to the cage and stood on my hind legs and begged the lady…please don’t do this mommy…we are a family…the daughter agreed too I know because she tried everything in her power to keep all the babies…she finally figured a way…she named them Tae, Kwon and Do…and then said she couldn’t bear to break up a set…it worked…I knew by the ladies eyes that she wouldn’t do it anyway…but this sealed it…When they got bigger we were all taken to the vet for check ups and nail clippings…I heard them say that the children were all boys…the lady looked so forlorn…some words of money were spoken with the vet and we went home…a few days later, after they put me alone in a cage to “dry out my milk”…Gracie visited me and Neo and Alfie sometimes, but not the babies…well…when that was done I went to the vet with Gracie…I was frightened but it was that nice man vet and he gave us something to put us to sleep…when we woke up we were ready to go home…Mommy had us set up in a small cage in the middle of the table with soft blankets…we really hurt a lot…they had put strings in our stomachs and I heard that word “fixed” again…Gracie and I weren’t happy at all…but mommy took good care of us and Tere’ cooed over us and the man came home and checked on us…when the medicine was done and the Dr. Vet saw us one more time we were allowed to go back to our cage…the babies didn’t even try to nurse…thank God…Neo seemed quiet…a few weeks after that he passed on…I cried so hard…mommy wasn’t home and we were alone in the cage the children and I with Neo…he wouldn’t move and I knew he was gone and was trying desperately to keep the children calm…when mommy came home she picked up his body lovingly and wrapped him in a towel…I ran over to kiss him goodbye one more time…I never saw him again…I know that he lives in all the children and we think of him daily…life was good for us…the mommy lady feeds us well…in the morning we always have fresh spinach and carrots and sometimes broccoli slaw and green beans or sugar snap peas…for lunch we have melons, oranges or pineapples and apples…and for dinner always dry food…we used to get hay and that stopped because of something called allergic…it must be a foreign word for sneeze because that is what Tere’ did  when we ate it…then we went to alfalfa…now we eat the grass from the lawn…well…about two weeks ago I ate something…they said something about plastic I am not sure but I was in agony…I cried I squeaked and had muscle spasms in my stomach so badly…mommy called the Dr. Vet and he was away…she called the emergency service and no one was there…I thought I was going to die…it was awful…she pulled out a big book with yellow pages and started calling one after another…finally I heard some kind of relief…she had found a doctor to look at me…she wrapped me gently in a towel and Tere’ held me on her lap and talked softly to me…the bumps in the road were very painful and I was terrified…we finally arrived and this extremely large lady with a face like a frying pan came into the room and started squeezing my stomach…good heavens…she left the room and my eyes started leaking some white stuff and then I shrieked in pain and I pooped out this white thing…like plastic.  Tere’ said it looked like a bugle only it was white…the kind you eat…I don’t know what she means about eating instruments but it hurt terrible and then I was sick…the lady said some words to mommy and mommy kissed me good bye and told me not to worry…she left…”I hollered…no mommy…wait…you forgot me” but she was gone…they took pictures of the insides of my stomach two times…it was cold…the cage they put me in stunk and it afforded me no privacy…I started to feel better with the medicine she gave me but she was very rough and I didn’t like that…then she came in and gave me what I think she thought was dinner…obviously by the size of the woman she had eaten anything edible and was giving me this old grungy dirt stuff…I told her straight out…but I don’t think she understands pig latin…call my mother now…I even recited the phone number…I told her specifically I ate veggies fresh always for breakfast, fresh fruit for lunch and very good expensive seeds for dinner…she ignored me and continued to feed me this saw dust she was passing as food…I refused to eat…I would rather starve…well…several hours later she picked me up and had mixed this saw dust with water and put it in a tube and shoved it down my throat…I threw it up at her…what did this woman expect…she gagged me with it for goodness sakes…I started demanding angrily…you call my mother right now you hear me…she would never tolerate your behavior to me…a few hours later mommy came in and they brought me to her…she held me…we looked at these odd pictures that were lit up of the insides of my stomach and the lady said something about me passing things naturally and out of danger and antibiotics…but that I wouldn’t eat…she didn’t mention that saw dust or the gagging episode…she called it something like force feeding…mommy just listened and she told her that I could stay again if she wanted me to because it would be a lot of work and I would have to be force fed ground food three times a day until I responded by eating…she didn’t think mommy would want to do that…I looked at mommy in the eyes…she said no…she will come home with us now and we will do what we have to do…yippee…I was whisked out of that place…put on Tere’ s lap in my towel and brought home…mommy got out the veggies and a cutting board and a knife…she started to cut up the veggies and I dove into the bag and started to eat…I didn’t need anything ground or cut up…the doctor had given me the medicine and taken the pictures and made me well…now I needed my family to feed me so I could get all better…mommy set me up in the little cage on top of the kids and held them up one by one so they could see me…in the meantime…Kwon’s eye healed…he had gotten injured and we thought he would be blind…Do’s teeth grew back…he is a challenged pig and got angry and bit the cage and broke his teeth…he has to be separated sometimes so he doesn’t hurt the others…mommy is working on a way to calm him down…today we were carried outside…one by one all six of us and put in our pen and we ate grass…the air was cool and we fell asleep peacefully…life is good…I am a lucky pig…

i think sometimes i should hang up this writing thing…so misunderstood am i…yes i was pissed aggravated and annoyed…but i meant the story to show that i have grown…that i was able to sympathize with her illness and yet at this point in my life detach myself from the situation…i must practice on expressing myself better i would think…huggs to all…Sassy

The woman seemed perfect for the job.  She would assist the operations manager and telemarketing for us. She had people experience having done waitress work and she seemed pleasant enough. She made a nice appearance and seemed to enjoy being with people.  I work in a very busy place with lots and lots of people and lots and lots of personalities.  She started to take off of work five and six days at a clip.  Flu, personal problem…I gave her the benefit of the doubt.  I never took much notice to the fact that her skin was always beat red and she constantly carried her “tea cup” with her.  Having grown up with an alcoholic I should be more aware I would guess.  The signs were there.  As time went by the personality started to change.  She was angry then happy.  I again gave it the benefit of the doubt and thought she was having a hard time at home.  Her mother in law lived with her and had one leg due to diabetes (sp?) She was the guardian of her nephew due to drugs and alcohol from the parents.  She had her own son.  I started wondering about the barrage of flowers, balloons and cards being sent to her with “I love you”…from her husband.  My first instinct was this is covered apologetic abuse.  I am such a wonderful husband…after 18 years…did she need reconfirmation or was it his cover up.  I minded my business seeing know visual bruises but concerned about her mental state.  Her son was constantly in trouble with the cops.  She was upset.  One day the front desk supervisor found her passed out and drooling.  Her purse was open and a half drank bottle of vodka was there with some type of pills.  An ambulance and the police were called along with her husband.  Two weeks off of work with the excuse that she was epileptic (sp?).  One of my co-workers told me the medication she was on yes was for seizures but it was also medication used to dry out drunks.  She was sat down and offered help.  She refused and said she would get it on her own and that it wouldn’t happen again (yeah right)…All the signs were now there and we saw them and watched her like a hawk…she was constantly asked to bring in written documentation that she was getting help and kept “forgetting it”…last Monday she was again found with now 80 percent of a bottle of vodka gone and drooling down to her chest…she was sent home and came back to work the next day with a smile and I could see by the signs…still feeling the effects of alcohol…I sat her down with the manager and we fired her…I told her that her illness was interfering with her ability to perform her job description and she was a liability to herself and the company.  The manager told her she broke company policy two times by consuming alcohol in work and she was fired. She refused to leave and refused to pack and sat in a chair telling me how nice we all were and that she was only drinking because she had breast cancer.  Several weeks before that she had a lump in her breast but I was there when the doctor called and it was only a cyst.  I asked her if her husband knew…she said no…I asked her how it would be treated radiation, medication or surgery or chemo she said surgery…I said when and she said…next week…I asked when she was telling us…she started to cry…I told her I knew that it was only a cyst I was there remember…she looked shocked as though she had forgotten…I told her I didn’t believe her…it hurt me being a cancer survivor that she would stoop that low in an attempt to save her job but knew from experience it was the vodka talking and she was trying to enable me…She went to the bathroom for about 40 minutes…I feared she was killing herself…she was in a way…when she returned she was redder if that is possible and drunk…started swearing at me and ran out of the building without her stuff, which I had packed for her and jumped over a fence (she is 45) and left…I was sad…so…maybe I am growing up but I feel no pity for her…I am annoyed because I have to cover her shift and replace her…I feel no sense of human attachment to the situation at all and this is not like me…I am always sympathetic…I am so tired from work and miss my daughter, my xanga an d my bed…now I have more to do…I am angry at her inability to maintain her health and that isn’t right…I should accept her weakness and move on…well…maybe tomorrow…but for now…I am tired, pissed and aggravated…If she doesn’t pick her check up by Tuesday morning I will mail it and call the  corporate office and ask how long it is legally our responsibility to keep her belongings…she has more than I do at the office and I have been there for going on 23 years…this was I would think because it is her only place of expression…and another employee must now be replaced…huggs…Sassy…p.s.:  I will visit all of you soon…

Please leave a one-word comment
that you think best describes me.
It can only be one word.  No more.
Then copy and paste this into your journal
so that I may leave a word about you…  I borrowed this from Palomita‘s site…huggs…Sassy

Hey There!! been working so much I am fudgebrained when I get home and unable to muster the energy to visit all of you…I will a bit at a time…been missing all my xanga friends…I’ll post later…for now I start my xanagaland visits…huggs…Sassy…

Sorry I haven’t visited…work sucks…I will try and visit all of my subscriptions soon…for now I write a short blog…well I’ll try and make it short…You remember my mom with the turtle a few blogs back…well…Friday I realize that the turtles haven’t been playing much…please bear with me…I am sad…of course…but laughing also helps to see you through your pain…so anyway I say to me…lets take them out…and Peppermint is always my most active unafraid having lived with us alone for so many years…so I place him down and pick up Stix who is floating on her back (very odd) maybe enjoying the whirlpool effect of the filter…who is to say…I notice she doesn’t hide her head when I pick her up as is her usual response (strange but I am a slow learner)…I place her down on the floor “facing Peppermint”…he doesn’t move…he keeps shoving his head in further and further and is looking pretty scared and I think  your finally out…go play…or maybe he is ill…is he dieing???? He hasn’t been eating or playing…maybe he is going blind…he hasn’t opened his eyes come to think of it in several days…Stix is still head out…I leave…I return…Peppermint is still acting like Ground Hog Day and Stix has her head out…I put them in and notice Stix immediately floats again…weird turtle…okay…give me a break…Peppermint remains head in and eyes shut tight…next day I go over to see if he is blind…I pick him up and he has that second lid thing going and I pick her up…Dear Me…she is very stiff…her head is still out…oh Sister Silky do you think she is SHIT I THINK SHE IS DEAD…the poor dear…and I have him living with the corpse of his wife for days….it’s like a review of Psycho in there…eww…I place her on the rock under the light hoping she’ll warm up…yeah right…he climbs up on her and actually sticks his head out and is kissing her…I kid you not…we all start sobbing…she’s DEAD…my mother is running in circles doing her best dramatic show of the rap song “WASN’T ME” and Tere’ is unaware of any of the episode that occured with my mom and she still is thinx it’s natural causes that took Stix…after some time…I try praying…giving a healing…petting…talking…yep…she’s gone….we bury her and give her flowers and are sad…Peppermint immediately opens his eyes…eats and plays…however…at night he peaks up on the rock (boohoo tears hear) and looks for his love…he sleeps in her spot under the rock (of course the chubby guy got stuck last night and I had to get him out) but the guy is in mourning…I ordered a new wife for him…it will never replace Stix but it will be company and I am sure we will learn to love her too…when she comes her name will be Patti…in loving memory of our dear little girl turtle Stix:

huggs Sassy

Happy Mother’s Day!!

(Tere’&Me)

Anyone that visits here over the past already knows about my mom..she lives here…she has Parkinson’s Disease…her meds make her wacko…she was double wacko to begin with…so she is now…Living on the edge of sanity with your body hangin’ the wrong way:  I went over to Silky’s to help with a fish tank…we needed a filter…I drove back across town to my house to get it…mom thought I was going to be gone for several hours…I hear clanking in the kitchen….the door is wide open and the flies are doing a waltz…the beagle is playing “I can go in” “I can go out”…and my mom is against the counter near the dish of loose change shoving every quarter she can in her bra and pants pockets…her pants are so full they are hanging and her undies are showing…she has coins in her hands and I react “wrong” I scream…WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING… she spins around and starts to run…she doesn’t have her cane…if your aware of Parkinson’s Disease you know about the “chicken walk”…well she is pitched forward and doing the chicken “RUN” with all MY change…she flies like I haven’t seen her…I kid you not…into the bedroom where she opens her top drawer and begins to hide all MY QUARTERS in little boxes and purses…I am like a wild nut playing on her stupidity..feeding like a shark is attacking…screaming…I hear my heart beating and my neck throbbing and my blood pressure up…calling her a thief…(she once got arrested for stealing men’s socks from the food store before she was ill-she was divorced, not dating at the time and has three daughters-she gets a high from stealing…always has…she is a generous person to her loved ones…extremely generous…but she likes the thrill I would guess-but she isn’t very good at it now and I am the only place to steal from)…I am hollering; how I can’t leave anything in my own kitchen…how I have no privacy like when I was a child and daily she rifled through everything I owned looking for I never knew what…I never had privacy…this is my kitchen…shit…then I think…calm down…let her explain (mistake)…it fluctuated from I am nuts and she didn’t steal anything and they were hers to begin with to she was taking them for me to save twenty dollars worth of quarters to she went to the bank the other day (how?) to get the quarters…when she was done I sat her down and explained in a somewhat calmer mode that she was wrong…I was hurt…my house is her home…I give her everything and it hurts me…her come back…then take my quarters (her quarters?) you can have them…(?)…so I stop and leave the quarters…I know where they are when I want them…and I leave with the only bit of revenge I can get (yes…I too am still evolving my Spirit)…no…you keep them there mom…you’ll have to die someday knowing you stole from your own daughter…she looks at me…I hit a nerve…she has attempted two more times in the past week to return them to me personally…”look what I saved for you” (yeah right)…”here you want all this change it is taking up too much room”…I guess the thrill is gone for her…but if I let her give them too me the lesson will be and she’ll do something like it again…and life goes on…I come home and she is in front of the turtle tank well armed with my good sauce spoon, my spatula and a candle snifter…trying to lift Stix the girl up on to the rock without touching her…water is splashing turtles are terrified and I react WRONG…I scream…WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING NOW…WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO COME HOME TO A CRISIS…WHAT ARE YOU THINKING…YOUR GOING TO HURT THEM….YOU COULD BLIND THEM WITH THE SPOON YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE THEM TERRIFIED OF US COMING NEAR THEM…LEAVE THEM THE HELL ALONE…ARE YOU NUTS (you think)….her response…she was in the corner and wanted to move…me…SHE TOLD YOU THAT…her…no…but she hasn’t moved…I think she is stuck…(me) SHE LIKES IT THERE IT IS LIKE A WHIRLPOOL EFFECT FROM THE FILTER (I get that confused what the f…look from her) and she head off to her den (no cane again) and going on and on about how she was stuck….not hearing me…I’m screaming…how about when your ass is in the chair for what I think is too long I get a spoon and lift you up and move you away from that idiot box you watch all day…no response…I get her dinner…mumble mumble and again…I need revenge…I know…I need to grow…I also know she is friggin terrified of the turtles and that is why she had all that equipment in there…she wanted to help but is like a child sometimes (yeah…like things have changed since I was young)…so I get Stix out and check her…unsure if the chip on her shoulder (I kid you not-lol) is from her or from a rock in the tank…I carry her in and she is shoveling food into her mouth and watching TV like the world is fine and I stick Stix in her face…she jumps about three feet and pulls back…WHAT’S WRONG MOM…YOU DON’T LIKE HER…her…she’s gonna bite me….me…I HOPE IF YOU EVER STICK YOUR FINGER IN THERE AGAIN SHE MAKES YOU BLEED(they don’t bite) DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT YOU COULD HURT THEM…YOU KNOW NOTING ABOUT THEIR ENVIRONMENT OR THEIR WAYS…LEAVE THEM BE DO YOU UNDERSTAND…OR I’LL PUT THEM IN YOUR BED TONIGHT…she says I understand now…I leave…I should be ashamed of myself…I’m not…do I love her…yes…she wouldn’t be here if I didn’t…she is just such a pain in the ass…and my journey continues….huggs….Sassy

My health…well…the stone is not in the duct though it is there…it is in the gallbladder…a low fat diet will help…I hope…but I won’t stop at that…I have continued with my meditaitons…belief and my acupuncture…I did also have a bout of diverticulitis again…second one since the resection…I guess the surgery helped…but none would be better….I am taking antibiotics and every day feel a bit better…Sometimes I’ll read someone else’s blog and a certain part will shine a light in my own darkness so to speak…JamesWorld.org does this for me…in a recent blog he wrote: As a rule we don’t seem to do well when people don’t pay us what they owe us. They don’t even have to know they owe us for us to keep adding interest to the debt. There comes a time when it is impossible for them to pay what we believe we’re owed. At that point, rather than tell ourselves and others the truth, which wouldn’t make us look very good, we make up something shifts the responsibility to them. We’ve outgrown them. That’s bullshit speak for, They aren’t giving me what I deserve. It’s on them for not keeping up. Who can be expected to retard their forward progress for someone else? I think that this might be what happened with the ending of the relationship with my Healer/Friend the one where I helped his children…and fell in love with the three of them…see…something happened…I was starting to be put in a position where I wasn’t comfortable because of my own child…I said “ouch” this hurts…as if burned on a stove pilot…this made me not fullfill my end of the bargain…I do…I care…I love…I give…I am loyal…I am open…I am honest…I am true to them…I am their friend and his sister/friend…I love…they in return give me what they think I want…their pretending to be friends…when I question…I no longer fill that interest I owe for them being “my friend”…so I have changed…but I don’t think I did…I think I shifted positions and said…”hey friend…this is uncomfortable…help me to fit it in another way so we can continue being friends” they didn’t…did they change…no…I just was someone to fullfill a need…what they felt they deserved for what they were giving to me…what they pretended to be a loving friendship…it wasn’t…does this help it hurt less…not at all…am I angry…hard to understand if you don’t know me…but…not at all…I am sad and miss them terribly…that is me…see…when I said friend I meant friend…to me..their are certain obligations of friendship…this isn’t one of them…to continue doing something your uncomfortable with without defending yourself and to take emotional abuse toward yourself and your daughter from a minor…I just wanted that to stop…I didn’t not love anyone or not want to be friends anymore…so I didn’t change…again… I shifted…I would like to think that I could still be friends with him…I know I can never do for his children what I did in the past…only still love them…but it would be nice to have had him say…if this is uncomfortable…we will both shift because I too care..but that isn’t what happened…so…I was “outgrown” as JamesWorld.org says…still burns…but now I understand a little bit more…it wasn’t what I did…it was what I didn’t…I didn’t not question…I didn’t accept…I cared for me too…like a balm on a burn…needs much healing…just wish the missing part would go away…sigh…………….I still find it hard to understand how someone can hold you against his being (I guess I’m not used to being hugged) and tell you he cares…he loves you…he is your brother…he is not going anywhere…he will be in your life forever…and then…after one episode…one that was not even due to me…it was due to his daughter’s actions/attitude…one that left me frightened and upset from loosing them…I am scrapped off his shoes like nothing more than dog shit…and he goes on without turning back…like a balm on a burn…the healing continues…tears…Sassy