May 7, 2006

• It’s been so very long since I posted or visited anyone’s site.  I have missed you all so much and want to thank each of you for your well wishes prayers and concern.  I tend to “turn into myself” during my annual testing times trying to hold back fear of ithe cancer returning.  I also have such anger that it happened and then the whole bit about how angry I am about all the tests and how long each one takes to get results. Yet, I must be growing because I handled it differently this time though.  I have been taking private Reiki lessons for sixteen months now so I have been doing personal healings several times a day and praying quite a bit.  Thanks to God, it has been beneficial for me.  I will visit all of you this week.  Tonight, I feel like writing.  So this is what happened.  My posts have been listing the tests I have been going through.  It would seem my “annuals for January” just got so out of control I felt like I was on a roller coaster.  After the biopsy came back that I mentioned in my last post.  The doctor found a lesion.  Since it was benign he is going with scar tissue from the radiation.  Well there was blood in my urine and I was told to see a urologist.  Well the urologist scheduled me first for a bladder sonogram.  His thoughts were maybe during radiation the bladder was nicked.  Sometimes after several years the tissue will wear and it will start to bleed due to this as a warning of trouble to come.  Since I had diverticuli induced by radiation (remember my resection several years back ukk) he was thinking this.  Well the sonogram came back clean so he sent me for a complete CATScan.  That showed that I still have a small benign tumor that hasn’t grown since 2002 inside my left kidney and a small one inside my right kidney that has grown just under one-half centimeter since 2002.  Most people have these in their body somewhere but just never know it.  I do because they did so much testing on me after the cancer.  It also showed I have a gallstone.  Probably the same one they found several years ago.  What they did find was a kidney stone that was there several years ago in a different spot so they are guessing this is the bleeding I had. Doctors do a lot of this guessing I realize as time goes on.  After all, they are just humans too.  The doctor then did a Cystoscopy of my bladder and found, thankfully there is no nicked bladder.   So, besides a gallstone too small to do anything with, a kidney stone too small also to bother, I am in perfect health.  YES!!! I have the pictures of the CATScan and a copy of the Sonogram report and the Cystoscopy report.  I am bringing them ALL to the Oncologist on Monday for my six month check up.  I am not taking any chances since I don’t want another test.  I tried to keep a positive outlook and “believe” I was well.  I find this diffucult with one test after the other just hanging around out there.  I am glad it is over now.  This is my seventh year Cancer Free (smiling me).  I am at risk, due to the type of cancer, for eight years.  Of course that is only a number.  It could have happened after a month it could have happen after a year, I could happen after ten years or NEVER again…I’m going for that…after Monday I don’t have to go to the doctor until September and am hoping that the times between testing slow down since I have years between this illness and my good health now. I feel like I have more tests than an eighty year old.  But I am here and that is what is important to me. Today I awoke and looked up through my skylight at the sun shining down on me. It felt good.  I am thankful.  I thanked God.  I have been learning about the Angels and want to learn to utilize their help with my Reiki.  They are wonderful and comforting to me.  I am taking a course in June that will teach me more about them  The course is being given by Doreen Virtue.  I am so ecstatic about meeting her and having the opportunity of learning from her. Tere’ is going to her Junior Prom.  She has a very pretty dress picked out and I made her a hair appointment.  She is getting excited.  It is on May 26.  Well…that’s all for today.  Once again thank you all and I will visit you over the next few days and I will also post more regularly.  I make these promises to myself because Xanga makes me feel good.  Many huggs…Sassy

  • 12:13 am
  • 9 Comments